


More Than A Thousand Words

by OrmondSacker



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Artist Bodhi, Cassian's POV, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Oblivious Cassian, Pining, Post-Rogue One, mostly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 13:21:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9183442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrmondSacker/pseuds/OrmondSacker
Summary: Bodhi took up drawing as a way to distract himself during long flights, but slowly it became more to him. Lately one particularly subject recurs very often in his art.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Partially inspired by Katy Perry's The One That Got Away. Yes it's Diego in that video, not Riz. I just liked the idea of Bodhi as an artist okay?

Bodhi draws, constantly. 

It starts as a way to keep himself occupied by the long times spent in hyperspace. Listening to the same music and reading the same books over and over becomes boring more quickly than most people realize. 

One day, out of sheer boredom, he puts a stylus to his datapad and starts sketching. 

His first efforts are... pretty bad. Okay if he's honest they're terrible. But slowly he gets better. 

He draws whatever takes his fancy. Mostly it is the places he goes, sometimes there are beautiful things there that he wants to remember, or people he meets that he likes. His folder of sketches becomes an extended memory of sorts where he keeps only happy things, a way of fighting off the darkness and misery that too often surrounds him in the Empire. 

After Jedha is destroyed it becomes something else too, a way to keep his home and family alive in his memory. Just after Scarif that's all he draws, everything he can recall, his mother and father, his sister, what the main plaza of NiJedha looked like in the sunset. All of it, before he forgets it. 

But as his grief fades and transmutes so does his subjects change. Drawings of his home and relatives gets fewer and further between though they never fully stops, but now they are mixed with drawings of Alliance leaders, fellow pilots and other Rebels, their bases, the planets they live on.  

And Cassian. He draws Cassian a lot. 

 

oOoOo

 

Cassian finds Bodhi's datapad one day when the pilot has left it behind in the common room. He knows he shouldn't look at the contents, just give it back to Bodhi, but he's so very curious as to what's on it. He's seen the man with it so many times, scribbling away on it, but Bodhi never wants to show him. 

One look, just one. Then he'll give it back. 

The file he opens contains a drawing of Mon Mothma and general Draven, specifically Mothma telling Draven off for something. Cassian fights to contain a burst of laughter, it is so accurate. Bodhi has truly captured how formidable and intimidating the tiny woman can be. And Draven's embarrassed look adds further to Cassian's amusement. 

 _Bodhi_ _is good, very good. Maybe they should pull him of piloting and put him in charge of propaganda art?_  

 _What else has he made?_  

For a second Cassian hesitates, this isn't his to look at he knows that, but what does Bodhi have to be ashamed of? He's brilliant. 

Shame and self restraint gives in curiosity. 

The second drawing is of their current base, the swamp looks so realistic Cassian expects getting wet and mucky for a second. 

 _Why was Bodhi hiding this? It was.. g_ _orgeous and-_  

Not really thinking about it Cassian flips to the next picture. It's of him. 

A full body drawing of him out on the target range, rifle raised and taking aim. The expression on his face is one of complete focus, its intensity almost frightens him. 

Looking at it makes Cassian feel naked, revealed. Bodhi managed to not only see, but capture Cassian the killer, Cassian the sniper. 

Is this why Bodhi hides his drawings, because he's _too_ good. Because he's able to look beyond the obvious and capture a person essence? 

Cassian draws a hand over his face. If this is the Cassian Bodhi sees... The thought leaves him uncomfortable and distressed as if he's in danger of losing him.  

 _Why would Bodhi want to be close to a man like that?_  

He looks at the screen again and sees a different drawing. He must have flipped next without realizing it. 

It's him again, but he look so very different from the first. 

This is just of his head a shoulders. He's smiling. Just that little quirk of his lips that he knows he does, but his eyes are so warm and soft, a gentleness he'd thought he'd lost years ago and which is totally at odds with the man in the first picture. 

 _Does he truly look like this when he smiles_ _? Or did Bodhi make it up? And if so why?_  

The first man Cassian knows, far too well, but this second one? He looks like a friend, a confidant... is that how Bodhi sees him too. Because he certainly saw the first man. 

The pad is snatched out of his hands. Cassian jumps almost lashing out at Bodhi, half expecting an attack. 

"This is mine." Bodhi's voice is quiet, but with a firm rebuke in it. 

Cassian guiltily drops his gaze to the floor for a moment. 

"You're... quite good. I don't know why you're hiding that." 

"Because they're _private_. But _you_ wouldn't know what that means, would you?" 

Cassian blanches at the words. It's a low blow, but he can't help but feel he deserves it. He _was_ prying. 

"I guess I'll have to password protect this," Bodhi continues. "Though that wouldn't stop you long." 

Bodhi sounds truly angry and more upset than Cassian had thought he'd be. 

"Bodhi?" Cassian reaches out for him, but Bodhi pulls away. 

"Don't, just don't." Bodhi's eyes falls on the picture on the datapadd and Cassian hears him mutter, "Oh brilliant, it had to be that one didn't it," under his breath. 

"Why is that one particularly bad? Actually I saw the one with Mothma and Draven first." He's not sure why he's compounding his guilt, but if he's condemned he might as well be it for it all. 

Bodhi sighs and shakes his head as he crosses his arms. "How many else did you look at?" 

"Those two, the one of this base and... the one of me shooting out on the range." 

"Which one?" 

Cassian frowns. 

"You mean you have more than one?" 

Bodhi is blushing bright red and an oddly horrified look crosses his face. 

"Just- Don't look at this in the future," he shoots at Cassian, before hurriedly turning on his heel. 

A very strange thought flits through Cassian's mind and he follows as Bodhi starts to walk away. 

"How many drawings of me do you have?" 

"None of your business." Bodhi's body language is screaming discomfort to the stars. 

Cassian reaches out and grabs hold of his arm, spinning him back to face him. 

"Bodhi?" 

"Just leave it okay. I won't bother you, just- Just, leave it." 

Bodhi's voice, sounding so fragile and almost small suddenly makes a number of things fall into place in Cassian's mind. 

Bodhi's smiles, the way the man lit up every time he saw Cassian, seemed to pop up out of nowhere and for no reason all the time. But always welcome to Cassian, and the vague feeling of disappointment Cassian felt whenever he got back and Bodhi for some reason wasn't around, the warmth in his chest when he saw him again. 

 _Oh_. 

It has been so long since he felt this way for another – _has_ _ever really felt this way before?_ – that he hadn't recognized it for what it was. Until now. 

"I'll go now." Bodhi is pulling out of his grip and when Cassian tightens his hand he can feel Bodhi stiffen under his touch. 

"Don't" They both say the word simultaneously. 

Cassian hates going into something without a plan, without all the information he can get, this applies to all aspects of his life. But he also know when acting takes precedence, how to improvise. And if he lets Bodhi walk away right now, things will become infinitely more complicated. 

He'll figure out the specifics later. 

"Bodhi?" He lets go of Bodhi's arm and puts a finger under the man's jaw, feeling the soft hairs of his beard. He doesn't apply any pressure, just holds it there. "How many drawings of me _do_ you have?" 

Bodhi shrugs, not looking up and Cassian can see a shadow of heat creeping into his cheeks. 

"Bodhi, I'm going to go out on a limb here. Stop me if I'm wrong." 

Gently he tilts Bodhi's chin up as he leans down, closing in for a kiss. All the time he keeps his eyes on Bodhi, sees how his eyes widen a little in surprise and disbelief before drifting close just before Cassian's lips touch his. 

Bodhi's mouth is warm and his lips part slightly in surprise. Cassian lets the tip of his tongue slip past them, lapping testingly waiting for some sort of response from Bodhi. 

When it comes it feels like getting caught in a storm. Bodhi flings his arms around Cassian's neck, kissing him back with enthusiasm and now it's all Cassian can do to hold on to Bodhi's waist as he's kissed senseless. 

When they finally break apart they're both panting hard, Bodhi's eyes are shining brightly and Cassian is certain he's wearing one of _those_ smiles. 

"Why didn't you kiss just me before," Cassian asks. 

Bodhi shrugs still not letting go. "I tried flirting with you but..." 

"But I was being totally oblivious." Cassian runs a hand up and down Bodhi's back. He's been almost unforgivably slow, if this had been a mission... Well is wasn't and.. "I'm sorry about breaching your privacy," he says. "But I'm not sorry about how it ended." 

"Me neither." 

 

oOoOo

 

Bodhi keeps drawing, especially Cassian. The next time Cassian sees one of the drawings it's because Bodhi shows him. 

Cassian had thought he couldn't blush anymore, not like this. But as he looks of the picture of himself, naked, relaxed and sound asleep, a sated, blissful smile on his lips, he feels it creep up his cheeks and down his chest. 

"Do I... look like that?" 

"When you fall asleep just after, yes." 

Bodhi twists around in Cassian's arm and kisses him open mouthed. 

"Want to see if I can make you look like that again?" 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to drop by [my tumblr](luminousfinn.tumblr.com) and say hello.


End file.
